July 2009

Dear Fellow Grandparents:

All too often, being a grandparent of a child with Tourette Syndrome will pose challenges to what should be a very rewarding relationship. But through common sense, some sound advice from others in the same boat and the feeling you have for that child, these problems can be overcome. The experience of others may be a good guide, and so what follows are some suggestions that I know have worked. They can be called . . .

Grandparenting 101

A good beginning toward understanding the role of a grandparent is to educate yourself about Tourette Syndrome (TS) and related disorders. A good way to start is by visiting the Tourette Syndrome Association (TSA) website at <http://tsa-usa.org>. The material posted covers a wide range of topics from initial diagnosis to classroom behavior including discipline problems, college entrance procedures and many more. Information concerning Attention Deficit and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders are also available.

Some specific pointers, based on the experience of – grandparent – parent – child relationships —

• Avoid taking sides in arguments between parent and child. You risk losing credibility and could create resentment. After the storm is over, you may tactfully find an opportunity to register conciliatory views. 
  
  
• Remember that you are a grandparent not the parent. The prime responsibility rests with Mom and Dad, who must live with the problems every day – and night. Their role should never be undermined by visiting friends or relatives – no matter how well-meaning.
  
  
• Make it clear that you accept and love the child as he or she is – without reservation – not only in words, but in attitude.
  
  
• Without formal lecturing, accentuate the positive: Point to the success of many with TS – athletes, teachers, surgeons, actors, musicians, etc.
  
  
• Cite the words of some individuals with TS who have been quoted in the TSA Newsletter and elsewhere: “I have TS – it doesn’t have me” . . . “TS is just a speed bump on my way ahead,” etc.
  
  
• If your grandchild has a hobby, encourage it. Is it collecting baseball cards, stamps, records? Additions are always welcome, but best when selected after consultation. Art, photography, reading interests can also be cultivated. Check out some magazine that would appeal.
  
  
• Take him (her) out to sports events, etc. seated in areas where symptoms would not be a problem
  .
• When friends are around, a well-timed pizza, can burnish your image as a cool grandparent.
  
  
• If he gets out of line, don’t overlook it. But stress the right way to act rather than harp on the wrong way. Don’t be preachy; sermons are for those ordained.
  
  
• And don’t neglect the siblings of the child with TS. Enjoy all your grandchildren for what they are – and they will enjoy you.

I hope you find the above ideas useful. I would like to hear some of your tips on what it takes to be a grandparent of a child with TS. They might even end up in the new Grandparent’s column in TSA’s quarterly Newsletter. I also urge you to join me in renewing or becoming a member of the TSA Grandparents Club. During these trying economic times, I can assure you that your support will play an even more meaningful role in providing critical TSA programs of education, advocacy, information and referral services and research. The suggested contribution is $100, but any amount would be much appreciated. And you will have that wonderful satisfaction of knowing that you are making the world a better place for your grandchild and all grandchildren touched by Tourette Syndrome.

Sincerely,

Milton Sutton
Grandparent

Please Support our TSA Grandparents Club. Click here.
You'll go first to our Donation page (click the big 'Donate Now' button), then to choose payment by Credit Card.
On our SECURE donation page, please check the "Other" button and type "Grandparents" in the box.
THANK YOU!